Monday, July 15, 2013

July, my personal month of suicide awareness.

 YOU ARE NOT ALONE!


I had a wonderful friend once. She visited us everywhere! She was so beautiful inside and out. I can still see her smile. 

She was outgoing and funny and very thoughtful. We loved her very much. She knew that, but the circumstances made her lose the will to live her life. She wasn't happy anymore, only when she wanted to put on an act. 

We couldn't see inside her heart. We didn't think her world was as dark as she thought it was. We tried to show her the bright side, but Oh! how dumb to think that only words of courage were enough to mend a broken heart. We couldn't find the cure for her melancholy and infinite sadness fast enough.

This is my personal story about the last day of that dear friend of mine.


Four years ago we were visiting her, me and my 3 older kids were staying at her house. One day she woke up on a gorgeous morning in July and she wanted to work for a bit in the yard. She took her tools and my two older children and went outside.
Me, on the other side of the window thinking, how beautiful 
that "picture" was. 
Some time later she came inside. She said it was already too hot and that she needed to wake up early the next day to finish the job.
I told her we were going to visit some family friends and that we were spending with them a couple of nights, she immediately replied with a "You don't have to go. You don't need to leave this house" I said, "oh, don't worry it is alright! We will be back in two nights."

IF I ONLY KNEW THOSE WORDS WERE GOING TO HAUNT ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!

I left. Two hours later she took her own life...

I know now it wasn't my fault. 
I know she had it all planned out for a long time. 
I know she wasn't happy in this life, and that not even her family could have mended her broken heart.
BUT, Oh! how I wish I would have not left that house that one day in July. She wouldn't have had the chance to take her life.

She kissed my kids for the last time and went to her room, I was the last to see her alive. She was my beautiful friend, she was my dear sister in law.








Depression is an illness NOT just a state of mind.

Not always, but often depressed people face suicidal thougths. Look beyond the physical appearance. If you are suffering from depression or if you know someone who is, seek help! 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! 

There are professional organizations and groups that can help us understand depression, there are also foundations for suicide prevention. 

SUICIDE CLAIMS MORE THAN 38,000 LIVES EACH YEAR IN THE UNITED STATES

I recommend the AFSP, American Foundation For Suicide Prevention and also their Out of the Darkness community walks. 



Let all of us work together to build suicide awareness and prevention. People who suffer from depression feel alone even if they are not. Be there for them. If you are one of them, you are not alone, seek help. 



THIS IS MY PERSONAL SUICIDE AWARENESS PROJECT DEDICATED TO A SPECIAL PERSON IN MY LIFE. 

I miss you so much...

~Lily 

Special thanks to my model and friend Chelsea Vogt for helping me with this project. Clic on images to enlarge.














8 comments:

  1. Thank you for doing this my cousin commited suicide last year.. He was also funny and no one could see the sadness he had inside.. He is missed everyday.

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  2. Thank you so much for sharing with me about your life too. I am so sorry for your loss. :(

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  3. I'm so sorry for your loss! Thanks for sharing such a deeply personal story. I hope this reaches out and helps others!

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  4. I remember that day Lily. Thank you doing these :)

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  5. Thank you for bringing this to people's attention. If anyone reads this and has those thoughts, please read my story.

    In May 2009, I was going through a really bad break up with my daughter's father and was still dealing with untreated postpartum. We lived together and everything seemed to be falling apart, my daughter and I were left looking for a place to live with no financial help other than a waitress job I had.

    After a big fight, he'd left the house & brought our daughter (just 2 years old at the time) to her grandmother's. I went to his safe, grabbed his pistol & the bullets and left the house in my car. I drove to an abandoned lot, put the bullets in the gun & began crying endlessly. I was determined. However, because I didn't want anyone to find me like that, I searched around my car for a blanket to put over my head. All I found was one of my daughter's blankets. & the thought of leaving her behind and not seeing her grow up, almost killed me by itself. I quickly drove back to the house, put the gun away and went to get her. That's when I think how selfish it would have been of me. To leave my daughter without a mommy.

    At the time, it all seemed too real and raw to handle but I'm thankful that I did. Today, I have a beautiful 5 year old daughter, a happy/healthy relationship with the love of my life and a thriving business. Thank you for bringing attention to this matter. I couldn't see the light at the time but I'm so glad I had a change of heart/mind.

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  6. Thank you so very much dear anonymous lady for sharing your story with us! I am very happy for you and your little one!!! hugs!

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